Pies v Crows – The Battle Is On

Match day dawns and we’re up reasonably early under the circumstances. Believe it or not, we actually put on our sweats and head to the gym. A couple of kilometres on the walking machine before we hit the bicycles and cycle half way to Boston. Get off the bike and promptly collapse on the floor, too exhausted to move. Yeah, that feels great.

Nothing quite like a sunrise Arabian style. We watch the sun come up as we're working out, and before too long, the golden glow engulfs the whole city as the rays bounce off the glass panels of the squillion towers surrounding us.

Get ourselves dressed and downstairs to La Cité restaurant where breakfast is served. As Dubai is a melting pot of nationalities, the cuisine is likewise varied. We eye off several enticing dishes and gird our loins for the gastronomic feast about to be served.

The first problem though is a good cup of tea. Unfortunately, the hotel doesn’t seem to have picked up on the fact that Twinings Irish Breakfast is really the only tea a girl can face after a big day. Before too long, there are three full cups of insipid looking dishwater quietly pushed to the edge of the table before I cave in and fetch a teabag from my own personal handbag stash. I request some hot water and finally get to enjoy a proper brew. Heaven!

After inhaling most of the buffet, including the most divine Indian spinach and tofu vegetable curry, we make our way back upstairs to get organised to leave for the match. Although the match doesn’t start until 2:00pm, we’ve been told that the bus is collecting us at 10:00am.

We rush downstairs to find everybody else already there and waiting. Board the bus and do the pickup from the remaining hotels, including the hotel where the Pies are staying. We see a whole load of them out the front and this provides a temporary pick-me-up for us all.

We wave at all the Crows players and entourage from our bus, and get to chat briefly with Mark Ricciuto. He’s truly a lovely fellow and it’s wonderful to hear that he’s recently been married. He said that since he wasn’t playing footy any longer, he’d run out of excuses not to walk down the aisle, so he just had to do it in the end. Good for him, and I hope that he enjoys a long and happy marriage.

By the time we reach Ghantoot, there are cars and buses everywhere and the carpark is absolutely overflowing with chaos. Unlike yesterday where our bus dropped us off directly in front of the stands, this time we’re dropped off a mile away and have to walk quite a distance to get in. My gorgeous Collingwood heels (beautiful black slingbacks with a white stripe – stylish but totally not for walking in) are covered in sand and dust. Security is impressive, and we’re given colour-coded wristbands to distinguish between plebs and celebs.

Lots of promotional activities happening, with both South Australia and Melbourne plugging away their respective virtues to all-comers. Lots of sponsorship signage everywhere. Even SPC is in on the action. It’s all happening at the fair, folks.

It’s absolutely roasting with nowhere to shelter from the sun, and we wander around aimlessly to check out the grandstands. The place looks a little different to yesterday, as the construction was finished and there’s an air of excitement about it all. We were chuffed to see all the expat Aussies coming out of the woodwork in their respective team colours, and it wouldn’t be far off the mark to say that just about every AFL team had a fan representing them in some way. There were jerseys from loads of teams. We spotted a Lions jersey and were thrilled to find a Brisbane girl and her husband, who have been living in Dubai now for about 11 years. They’d like to come home but the money they’re earning is simply too good to walk away from just at this point in time so they’re committed to Dubai for a bit longer yet.

We still have about 2 hours to kill before the match starts and there’s absolutely nothing to do except wander around looking for Aussies to talk to and extract shopping tips from. Luckily, this is not a difficult task and we are armed to the hilt with useful information by the time the siren sounds for the first quarter.

The Pies and Crows both hit the field and it’s game on. The Crows immediately take charge and lead for the whole game. Unfortunately, there’s no famous Collingwood third quarter comeback and the Crows beat us soundly. After much discussion and argument, we decided that the word ‘thrashing’ didn’t quite apply as the loss was by less than 100 points (but only just). It was certainly a whipping, and instead of a murder of crows, we had to eat crow. Not tasty. However, in the style of the true Collingwood Faithful, we consoled ourselves with the knowledge that anyone can go and see Collingwood lose a match at the MCG, but it takes an especially dedicated follower to travel half way around the world to watch them lose. I’ll never again feel as though I’m going a long way to see them in Melbourne.

Full congratulations go to the Crows, who played beautifully on the day. They should have been proud of their performance.

The positive that came out of the game was that the Pies sustained no injuries, despite some pretty rough play at times. This is a huge bonus heading into the season proper and nobody on the coaching staff seemed too concerned about the loss. We all know that Collingwood had a pretty ordinary pre-season last year and look where we ended up. Although it would have been nice to win, we were just excited to be there for the unique experience.

A highlight of the day was seeing two Aussie guys and a couple of their mates dressed identically in a specially made Collingwood dishdash with matching gufta. Hilarious! They were a focal point of attention for everyone, even the opposition.

Another funny moment was when another Aussie guy turned up in a green and gold dishdash. It makes you love being an Australian. We’ll find a way to take the mickey out of anyone, anywhere, any time, without going too far over the bounds of cultural offence. Everyone loved it and the crowd was mostly well behaved and in great form. It was probably a great thing that there was no alcohol allowed on the day, as the sun would have fermented some of those guys into early insanity.

We rounded up our bruised and weary troops and headed for the bus. There was an after-party scheduled for Le Meridien later on, but a few of us in our group decided to give that a miss and head out to calmer waters.

We enjoyed a few cold beverages outside on the terrace of the hotel before we realised it was about 9pm and we’d best be in search of somewhere to eat. After much consideration, we ended up at the Dubai Creek Golf and Yacht Club, which is just beautiful, and even better, just across the road from our hotel (sunstroke will do that to one’s decision making skills). However due to the chaotic 7-lane highway that separated us, it was impossible to just whip across the road without fear of becoming instant roadkill, and we were reluctantly forced to seek a cab to get there, as we weren’t sure exactly where we were going. Needless to say, the cab driver was less than enamoured of us by the time he managed to eject us at our destination.

Despite its name, The Steakhouse is the club’s fine dining restaurant and we certainly had a meal worthy of any member of the Middle Eastern royalty. The walls were adorned with pictures of sporting greats, such as Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods who have frequented the premises, so we figured it would be OK. The wine cellar has to be seen to be believed and we basked in the affluence of our surroundings until we literally couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer. We decided not to torture any more cab drivers and thought we’d make it home easily with a brisk walk. The boys led us down more than one garden path before we found a few dead ends and had to skip through the foliage to get back onto the main driveway leading from the clubhouse. Men and shortcuts – what’s that about????? We had a potentially scary moment as a massive sprinkler system popped into life just as we decided to traverse the green, however we managed to avoid a good soaking by the skin of our teeth. Given that it was less than 15 degrees outside at the time, we were more grateful for this than I could possibly explain.

Eventually we made it back to the hotel, even safely navigating the highway. Not a bad feat all up. Showers and off to the Land of Nod. Tomorrow's going to be another big day.

Day 2 down – 3 to go. Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives.